(Names have been changed for confidentiality)
Grab some popcorn, because this innocent weekend trip is the drama you didn’t see coming.
On one normal weekday, I logged into Linked In and saw a follow request from Monica, my childhood friend. I gladly accepted it. I remember Monica, but only vaguely. She lived in my neighborhood and that’s about all I remember. She messaged me and said that we had a lot in common and should catch up. I was excited to do so.
When we talked by phone, she reminded me that we had sleepovers as kids and that while we lived in the same neighborhood, we didn’t go to the same schools. She remembered a lot about our friendship and I didn’t, but I pretended to remember so that our conversation wouldn’t feel awkward. She mentioned she was having an event at her retail store and invited me to stop by. I went and brought my mom and I looked forward to seeing my childhood friend. When I arrived, we hugged and I felt happy inside. I thought she would become part of my tribe and we could support each others work. Mom and I bought several items to support her business.
Monica reached out again to see if I was going to the wholesale shows in our town. We went together and later had lunch. I saw a few people that I knew including my tall, handsome, PHD college professor ex- boyfriend. In Monica’s eyes, I must have seemed like the ultimate socialite, but all of the chance meetings were very rare for me.
Monica reached out again and asked if I wanted to take a girls road trip to the Essence Festival. I thought it would be an entertaining, quick weekend getaway. The Essence Festival is an annual event celebrating Black culture held yearly in New Orleans, Louisiana. I agreed to put the rental car on my credit card and she agreed to put the hotel on hers and we would split the cost.
Angry incident #1
At the Essence concert, Monica was not happy because our seats for the concert were bad seats. We both agreed to the seats when we purchased them, so her anger was unwarranted. She even went so far as to text a derogatory message to someone about me, but the text actually came to me by mistake. I was livid but glad it happened because it prepared me for what was to come.
I gave Monica too much credit because of our history. I’m a ‘turn water into wine’ kind of person. In any other situation, I would have taken silly pictures of our bad seats and laughed about it. Since she took the situation so serious, I suggested that we leave. I found some one to buy the tickets in hopes to diffuse the situation and gave her half of the proceeds.
Monica threw several verbal sucker punches at me and kid-like temper tantrums for the rest of the weekend. I won’t bore you with all of the details. Just know that this woman had ill will towards me the whole time. Everything seemed to madden her and you could cut the tension with a knife for the rest of the weekend.
She carries a gun.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, at one point she made it clear that she carries a gun. It was a subtle threat. So I slept with one eye opened and considered getting another room and flying back home. But I toughed it out since there was only one day left.
I beat myself up for not doing more research before traveling with that terror. This happened years ago but it easily could have become a Shanquella Robinson situation. (This is the young woman that was recently killed by her friend on a trip to Mexico.)
A case of the Single White (Black) Female
That was the longest drive home, but a very contemplative one. I did most of the driving since she decided that because I rented the car, I should be responsible for getting it back home. Yes, she was that petty. I put all the pieces of the puzzle together and realized something happened in our childhood that triggered her to behave like this around me. Hell, I barely remember her, so I don’t know what happened back then. She made several comments to suggest that I abandoned our friendship as kids. She also shared that she had been following me and knew about my accomplishments. Bringing that up was peculiar, but that gave me an inkling as to where the anger could be coming from. It seemed she had strong feelings of envy and abandonment. Everything began to make more sense.
After we got home, I had no intentions to ever talk to Monica again in my entire life. But, she came back again - wrapped in anger- suggesting that I owed her money from the trip along with shipping charges from an order that she placed from my client. Before I could respond, she went even lower and called my client to complain about me. Yet again her actions were revenge-like. ‘The punishment she was inflicting on me just didn’t make since. There was no rational cause for so much anger. I turned on my negotiation skills and gently discussed the situation with her. I didn’t want her to find more reasons to attack me. I finally settled everything. At least I hoped I did.
I hope to never see, hear from or talk to this woman again.
The moral of the story is…I warn you to be cautious of bringing back old friends. Get to know them again as you would a new person coming into your life. While I invented the term ‘Revenge Friendship’, it is a very real thing. This is a true story! However, in good Yaslynn fashion, I found the silver lining and hopefully a lesson for my readers.
Revenge doesn’t undo any harm done. It only adds fuel to the fire. It would be better to go to therapy, talk it out and put that negative energy towards growth and healing.
I hope you enjoyed this true story. Writing comes so easy for me, because my life gives me so many things to write about.
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